Feel that wrath that is Reverend Loon!

[The Reverend Loon]

Hi, I'm Reverend Loon, and I'm a webaholic.


Usually I make a surprise entrance when I announce my presence at any forum, but not this time.  I'm reforming my ways, changing my outlook on life - I'm using this forum to 'dry out' while I suffer from withdrawals related to my former addictions. In the meanwhile, I still might continue to perform mass weddings. Are you considering betrothal to the moth of your dreams? Personally, my tastes in moths are similar to one famous Canadian pianist (who shall remain nameless at this time.)

"Friendly, companionably reclusive, socially unacceptable,
 alcoholically abstemious, tirelessly talkative, zealously unzealous,
 spiritually intense, minimally turquoise, maximally ecstatic loon, seeks
 moth or moths with similar qualities for purposes of telephonic
 seduction, Tristanesque trip-taking and permanent flame-fluttering.  
 Applicants should furnish sets of sample conversation with notarized
 certification of marital disinclination, references re: low decibel vocal
 consistency.  All submissions treated confidentially."

Unfortunately, I'm not a gift-bearing newcomer.  I'm actually expecting complimentary dishes and meals... a continental breakfast, perhaps?

[greg]

huh? um. welcome i guess.

what is up with this btw:

stealing images?

[The Reverend Loon]

Some warm welcome.

"I guess?"

I do not believe in such talk as this. Either I am welcome, or unwelcome. From what noxious spring doth this ambivalence flow? I know now whether we are friends or enemies; you stand neutrally, and therefore, in a compromising position. I stand firm and on a solid foundation. I have not retracted any comments so far, and ergo, according to Murphy's Law, this trend shall continue.

"Stealing images?"

Theft is quite a harsh accusation. And besides, who is to say that Tom Servo is not a citizen of the world? At any rate, you used the picture in your reply - I have since removed it from my profile - until you edit your post, everyone will believe you are a bandwidth thief.

Cheers.

[SensoVision]

you have a kind of weird introduction... but anyway, Welcome to our Community!

[Queen Bee]

Welcome to the community, Loon.

[Andy]

Nah,

Loon hath nothing to offer us here in this here place IMHO.

Please explain loon what draw ye to this humble abobe on the net?

What does ye offer unto us to enhance our community and to entice us to lower the drawbridge rather than to prepare the gallows?

[greg]

you sound way too much like rachel

[Queen Bee]

Right... King Greg...

[Andy]

Hope you're replying to Loon and not me.

He taketh my image but is not me.

I respondeth to him to windeth him up like he wants to do to us to get his kicks.

End of thread for me.

[greg]

ok...i am lost. actualy i've been lost since the first post.

[The Reverend Loon]

Claim Number: FA0116660101314

PARTIES

The Complainant is Andy, of the province of Ignorance, England (“Complainant”).
The Respondent is The Reverend Loon of the planet K-Pax, (“Respondent”) represented by Reverend Loon of the Intergalactic Union of Literate Aliens

Dispute

The disputation at issue is whether the Complainant has the privileges and rights to digital communication at Weblamp.net ('The Community').

PANEL

The undersigned certify that they have acted independently and impartially and to the best of their knowledge, have no known conflict in serving as Panelists in this proceeding.

The panel consists of five members.

The panelists are:

Willy Wonka
Charlie Bucket
The Head Oompah-Loompah
Obi-Wan Kenobi
Darth Vader

PROCEDURAL HISTORY

Complainant submitted a Complaint to the Community electronically on July 25, 2003. The Respondent received a copy of this complaint the following day, July 26, 2003.

RELIEF SOUGHT

The complainant suggests that the Respondent is a troll, and an unsavory member of the Community. The Complainant implies that his presence is not wanted, and requires the Respondent to furnish proof of his material worth to the Community.

PARTIES’ CONTENTIONS

A. Complainant
The following argument was submitted presumably by or on the behalf of the Complainant.

"Loon hath nothing to offer us here in this here place IMHO.
Please explain loon what draw ye to this humble abobe on the net?
What does ye offer unto us to enhance our community and to entice us to lower the drawbridge rather than to prepare the gallows?"

The Complainant then followed up with this addendum:

" Hope you're replying to Loon and not me.
He taketh my image but is not me.
I respondeth to him to windeth him up like he wants to do to us to get his kicks.
End of thread for me."

B. Respondent

The Respondent claims that as a long-standing member of the Intergalactic Union of Literate Aliens he has certain unalienable rights, including, but not limited to, the right to Troll, the right to Lurk, the right to pattern his speech after antiquated sources, the right to a Smiley Face Visage(R), and the right to assumed innocence before judgment and conviction.

The Respondent maintains that his motives to join the Community have been pure and in good faith, indicative of his courteous mien and propensity towards fine speech and collectible Virtu, and also his outstanding regard for social moiré'.

The Respondent wishes to announce that he is, and always has been, a male, and should not be confused in speech or manners with any other person contingent beyond reasonable doubt, and especially against any mis-association with any female. The Respondent views this and all other insinuations as a declaration of war against his people and masculinity. The Respondent wishes to promulgate the doctrines of "Gresop," shorthand for "The Maxim of Greg's Milksop Nature," among other things.

The Respondent takes umbrage at any threats of death alluded to by the Complainant with the words, "...to prepare the gallows."

FINDINGS

Paragraph 4(a) of the Rules Governing the Admission of Eccentric Members ("The Policy")  requires that the Complainant must prove each of the following three elements to obtain an order that the Respondent’s membership should be cancelled or transferred:

 
(1) the Complainant has the prerogative to make such a claim.

(2) the Respondent has no rights or legitimate interests in fostering a healthy environment within the Community.

(3) the Complainant is indeed the patent owner of the Smiley Face Visage(R).

DISCUSSION

The Panel has determined that the Complainant is inferior in intellectual fortitude and makes irrational assumptions when compared to the Respondent. The Complainant is dismissed.

Our head panelist, Willy Wonka, wishes to impart a word of advice:

"In Springtime, the only pretty ring time,
When birds do sing, a ringa ding ding,
Sweet lovers love the Spring."

[ched]

someone has waaaaaaaaaaay too much time on their hands.

[susieq]

Hi Loon,
welcome to the community
As Willy Shakespeare said, "All the world's a stage"  so go ahead and play your part in the best and nicest community on the web

Sue

[SensoVision]

I've saw that some phpBB communities has AI bots on their forums  seems that we now have as well someone who not just a bot but also human so how it's said(in some commercials) we've got 2 in 1

[CoastPC]

Panelist Inquiry?
    Received an e-mail from Luke Skywalker enforming me that "Darth Vader" is vacationing in Disneyland, this time of year! Luke informes me Darth insists on not being disturbed.
   Were the findings unanimous??  I smell a conspiracy!!!